The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
