in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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