HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
