Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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