then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Randomize
