He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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