hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
