i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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