The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
