So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
