loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
