Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
