So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
