i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
