I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
