all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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