wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
