would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
