I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
