Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
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