U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
