just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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