dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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