please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize