Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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