I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize