i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
