I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
