it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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