Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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