She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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