Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We named our party play list daddy issues
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
