so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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