i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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