thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
