I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
