I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
