Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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