yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
