How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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