I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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