census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
