I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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