thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
