I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
