jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
