He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
