that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
