Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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