I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
