we're blogging at a bar
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
