do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
