it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
