girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Tornado booty call.. dedication
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
