i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
