Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
