If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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