She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You dont lie about slip and slides
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize