Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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