Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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