we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
