your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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