Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
