I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Small penises have feelings too.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
