is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize