We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize