I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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