if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
