Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
