He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
