This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
