I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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