I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
