Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
