Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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