I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
