that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
